Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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