so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
The feeling are messing with the penis
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
