I feel great
I just peed on a car
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
