she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
