great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
