drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize
