So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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