you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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