i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
