I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
