what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Sorry about my life...
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
