No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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