Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
