yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
