WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
