So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize