lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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