i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I didn't notice because vodka
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
