you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
the liver wants what the liver wants
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
