I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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