so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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