Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
