I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
