You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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