omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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