I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
