At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize