Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize