I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
