and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
