It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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