I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
