hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
