So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Hippo gnu deer
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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