Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize