I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
