We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize