So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
