like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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