So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
