At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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