why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
