I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
