I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
