I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
