i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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