just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
