Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize