you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
We have so much sex to catch up on
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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