Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
