Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
