there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
We have so much sex to catch up on
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
