It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
