PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
