You smell like stripper and shame
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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