Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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