sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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