it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
