I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
she told me i tasted like america
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Just invented taco cereal.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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