So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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